There are a lot of things running through my mind recently, most of them regarding the recent outbreaks of violence. As well as how students reacted to one act.
Last Wednesday, a student did something stupid at school, received a consequence (suspension), was angry and blamed the administrators who gave them the consequence, returned to school with a gun and shot the administrators. They "drove him to do it." There was no acceptance of his own actions and the consequences they deserved.
This gave me an opportunity to talk about respect.
The comment I made was "You need to respect everyone. I am not saying that you have to be friends with everyone, but you need to be kind and show them the respect they deserve."
A student said "If you want us to respect you, you shouldn't yell at us when we're talking or turn us in when we do something wrong."
Wait, what? "I am an adult. You respect adults because they are so. They have lived longer in the world and know more about it, that alone entitles them to your respect. It is because I respect you that I correct you. And it is your lack of respect that causes the consequences."
What the parents of these children are teaching them is the wrong notion of respect. Adults demand your respect just because of the nature of they are adults and you are children. Respect is not earned by giving in to childish whims. I do not respect people that do not stand up for what is right. Children have no respect for those teachers that allow themselves to be walked all over.
Children need to learn that when you are being disciplined by an adult you are not being disrespected. It is because the adult that is disciplining you cares and respects you that you are receiving a consequence for your action.
You cannot go through the world expecting everyone to cater to your whims. Children need consistent discipline throughout their life. They also need to learn that it is because of what they've done that they are being disciplined. As well as because the parent loves and respects the child that they are doing so.
I wonder how the world would change if every parent taught their children what respect truly means.
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