I’ve been home for a little over two days and I already realize that I have such a short time left before I have to buckle down and head back to school. Classes start two weeks from today. Where did the summer go?? It seems hat even though the summer felt slow – I can’t believe that it’s gone.
Even with that I’m still a little mixed up on if it was a good summer or not. I mean there were more ups then downs – but the downs were REALLY down.
The first half of the summer was amazing. I got along really well with all of the people on staff. We all hung out and had a wonderful time. Then we moved camps – and it seemed that I was no longer acceptable to hang out with. So some of the people that I had spent a good portion of my time with suddenly started to ignore me – or that’s what I felt. I tried to figure out why – all I saw that had changed was a change in geographic location. When I asked questions I never got straight answers – I know I got angry and started to ask questions in anger and frustration. I realize that I probably angered them further by this. And I am still searching for answers to my questions – and still probably won’t get them.
It’s times when I’m focusing on the negatives that I really wonder if I really want to go back next year. But I know in my heart of hearts that I do. I look at what I learned about myself, my future, and the woman I want to become, I know that going back can only make me stronger – as a teacher, a person, and a friend.
I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have my application – and know that I have time to fill it out for next summer. I think I’m going to take that time. I am trying to figure where to put the bridges and the walls – I don’t like walls but I do believe that in certain circumstances the bridges must be burned and walls must go up – if only not to end up in this place again next summer.
Shalom!
"Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.”
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